Friday, April 27, 2012

Letter: Gore, global warming arguments make little sense - TCPalm

Waldemar Veazie, Palm City

Letter: Gore, global warming arguments make little sense

Well here we go again. The apocalypse of man-made global warming is back, according to The Associated Press article, "Data bolsters greenhouse gas, warming link." Alas, the world trembles and cries out for salutation.

This can only mean it's time for the return of the National Climate Alteration Association Avenger (also known as Climate Man) from his undisclosed location somewhere in South Florida â€" a location, I might add, that is precisely where Al Gore predicted would be under 17 feet of water by now.

It seems we're in big trouble again. Reasonable, highly intelligent "round-Earth" scientists have finally figured out what really caused the end of the last ice age. Unfortunately ice ages all fall under the general category of "climate change." So no, how does one explain what caused the glaciers to melt before the appearance of evil fossil fuel guzzling SUVs? The trick is where do they find an equally evil greenhouse gas emitter before the dawn of the industrial age? Are you ready for some tortured logic courtesy of the AP?

First they admit "good" plants unfortunately create "bad" CO2. The more "good" plants, the more "bad" CO2. So far, so good. However after analyzing sediment scientists have concluded that plants cause even more CO2 because, like animals, they tend to die when the Earth's surface is a solid block of ice. This inadvertent dying, they say, creates even more CO2 and behold, the Earth warmed, (bad) which caused less ice (good), which means more plants and animals that Climate Man assumes is good or bad (depending in whether you're a Republican or a Democrat).

Allow me to submit a translation in case you need a score card: More is "bad" unless less is "bad," except when more is "good," with the sole exception being when "less" is "more."

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